Your face is fine but well have to put a bag over that personality. We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. 47. If youre waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, cause its gonna be a really long time. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Or you could say did I fucking stutter. Really, what made you think this isolated comment displaying my own opinion and criticism of a media you had no part in creating was at all directed to you? Love this reply. With a little quick thinking, you can turn it into a savage comeback. Find out more about how we use your personal data in our privacy policy and cookie policy. 12. MRS. F. IN CALIFORNIA, DEAR ABBY: Ageless Ladys letter reminded me of the response my great aunt would use when asked her age. A young couple enjoy a flaming honey bowl at Bahooka Ribs & Grog in Rosemead. DIANNE H. IN THE SOUTH, DEAR ABBY: I think its time we stopped behaving as if getting to be a certain age, particularly as women, is something to hide. Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. "Oh my bad, am I to get your permission before I give my opinion? My phones battery lasts longer than your relationships. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. You have a little bullsh*t on your lip. WebAnswer (1 of 9): Guy: Did I ask? Ive been called worse things by better men. Pierre Trudeau, a Canadian politician, upon hearing Richard Nixon insulted him. Oh geez how long has my flair been blank? You can still go to Tiki-Ti on Sunset Boulevard and Damons steakhouse in Glendale for a glimpse of the tiki era, but at the time, Bahookas was one of my favorite places to go with Jonathan, who had a collection of Hawaiian shirts that he wore like a uniform (before he switched to Brooks Brothers shirts and suspenders). And yet your ignorance still demanded an answer, amazing! and the immediately talk to somebody else without giving them time to respond to it. Next time he tries to bring you down with a hurtful comment, youll be ready. Why would I wait for your questions (you obviously don't know much about this)? Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Your a** must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. File this one with these other funny political quotes and insults you cant help but laugh at. Become a subscriber. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you is another great one to keep in your pocket when someone is being willfully ignorant. I see youre still stuck in middle school. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. ' shares another Buzzfeed contributor. Ouch. Personally, were a fan of @generalgreviousdatingsims I need to take this call just hang on a second. Im sorry, were you talking to me? I wont let some food snob penguins shame me into not eating saba, one of my favorite sushi orders. How does it concern you? 43. Good job. 84. 49. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. Here are 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments. 7 Spectacular Career Comebacks--From Real People. "I don't know. Consider subscribing to the Los Angeles Times. However, if you want to get out of a heated conversation with dignity intact, saying the right thing can make all the difference. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. Maybe follow it up with one of these funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work. Did I invite you to my barbecue? Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Im not a proctologist, but I can spot an ass when I see one. If brains were dynamite, you wouldnt have enough to blow your nose. That was almost as painful as looking at your face. Why not take today off? 40. 30. There are over 7 billion people on the planet, and God chose you to be the biggest fool. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its better for you to not use it. You may not be the dumbest person on Earth, but you better hope he doesnt die. David Letterman: Im not as dumb as I look. Here are some hall of fame insults heard by the people of Ask Reddit. You realise I could just say didnt ask back to your comment and it would actually carry way more weight because your comment was directed towards me, while mine was not directed towards you? but did they ask..? Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? Hi Tatiana, I'm really glad that this helped you. If laughter is medicine, your face must be curing the world. 4. 41. Watch popular content from the following creators: factz4youxx(@factz4youxx), combacks405(@combacks405), (@minofishh), (@_x.random..things.x), (@g1rlxtipx), znhzzz(@znhzzz), [swag](@x.eunoia.gracexx), - val -(@glossiervals), Random things Home; About WPC. 198. You might like: 27+ Unique Witty Comebacks for Shut Up Whats the Best Reply? One of the, One day in middle school my friends and I were all coincidentally wearing either pink or yellow shirts. I heard a kid tell one of his classmates that they smell like hot dog water,' shares one Buzzfeed contributor. One of the funniest one-liners on the Internet, if you ask me. authenticate users, apply security measures, and prevent spam and abuse, and, display personalised ads and content based on interest profiles, measure the effectiveness of personalised ads and content, and, develop and improve our products and services. I am sorry. So stfu. You could be nice and simply say, "I don't have a strong view one way or the other." Of course I didnt come here to insult you I dont need to be NEAR you to insult you. And despite all that you might say and despite your constant regurgitation of the overused sassy 'comeback' you will not amount to anything and you disgrace the ancestors of your lineage who fought hard so that you and I can stand here and say whatever we like without no one fucking asking. "-1,348. You got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. 32+ Witty Comebacks for Who Asked, Did I Ask, Nobody Asked etc. Now Saltie Girl has opened a branch in West Hollywood and Addison is happy as a tinned clam. I guess thats why theyre so mad. (from Reddit user), Bold of you to assume that I would need permission to answer the likes of you. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. When a big-time lawyer rolls up on Erin Brockovich and blatantly challenges Brockovichs knowledge and abilities, Julia Roberts character is quick to set her straight. I would call you a fucking clown but clowns are either funny or scary and you're neither and you'll never be either in the eyes of anyone. Insult: I think you are beginning to show high levels of stupidity. With these 51 good comebacks, you have unprecedented opportunity to hit back to the right place at the opportune time and wipe those stupid smirks off the faces of your enemies. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. Here, I gift you this plant to carry around with you. Your so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar and they didn't go so well. This one is an instant classicjust like these 22 insults from Shakespeare that still sting to this day. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. I mean personally Id just not associate with people who say this because I dont want to spend my time with people who annoy me lol. But here's hoping. I hope we will quit giving kids the message that older women are less than. I know the beauty industry would like to perpetuate that myth for economic benefit, but we dont have to aid and abet them. 36. Know your place. 32. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. not really good as they can always pull a "damn that's a lot of words. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. 1. Its politically correct, its not angry, mean, condescending, confusing, long winded, weird, or ineffective. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. There is no greater punisher than objectivity sometimes, you know? (edited by VopretNull) in Century City from the 1990s. In a dumb criminals book: A flasher came in to a laundromat and exposed himself. I mean this very sediment of people saying didnt ask to things that dont require permission to say is not only stupid but also incredibly easy to counter. 'Modern Family' star Julie Bowen reveals teenage eating di Canadian teacher with size-Z prosthetic breasts placed on paid leave, What's next for Buster Murdaugh after dad's murder conviction, life sentence, US home prices just did something they haven't done since 2012, Celeb-loved jewelry brand Dorsey drops dazzling new styles, White Lotus actor jokes about being hit on following shows success, Is this the couple behind the Worst Art Job Listing Ever?, Undertaker transforms coffin into barbecue grill, Kellyanne Conway and George Conway to divorce. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality in real life. Mine is unlisted. CAROLE R. IN ARIZONA, DEAR ABBY: As a child I heard and still remember my moms answer to that question. Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. Throwing out unsolicited corrections or advice at people who don't want them isn't a great move, in general. I want to fight the city, fight the gas company, because this is impossible, said owner Tre Dinh. If they do ask, you could explain to them that they seem like they are in a bad mood. Restaurant critic Bill Addison describes an epiphany he had at Saltie Girl in Boston five years ago when the restaurants impressive selection of tinned fish revealed just how delicious canned sardines and more could be. Thinking Of Something To Say After An Argument Is Over Is The Worst Feeling. Thanks for your input. But what do you do when someone throws an insult your way? You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. Please continue while I take notes. Charred pork pho at Pho 87, a Chinatown staple since 1987. Thats an interesting point of view. And if you're reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business! DAVID S. IN GEORGIA. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Try These Comebacks, If youre only capable of accepting information on your terms, the issues you have go a lot deeper than your ignorance of the topic at hand. I think you might be overestimating your importance here. Next time you cross the road, dont bother looking. Overview of all the good comebacks #1. You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. The next two highest-ranking characteristics were with a hint of salt (68%) and gooey (65%). Try the recipe Julie came up with and let us know on our @latimesfood Instagram account what you think and if you have a better recipe. DEAR JANE: That was a classic Dear Abby retort from many years ago, and one I have also recommended. Im sorry, I must have missed the part where your opinion mattered. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Thanks for contacting us. Heres a tissue. Well, the jerk store called and theyre running out of you. George Constanza of Seinfeld dropped this epic line. This can be disarming to your attacker and it shows that their words cannot hurt you. This squid is so raw I can still hear it telling SpongeBob to fuck off. First of all, dogs cant ask dumb questions like that Dylan M (@dylanmicky_d) October 17, 2017. Web"No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that When shes not writing articles about useful facts and pop culture, you can find Erin enjoying the local theater scene and working toward her goal of reading 50 books a year. The village called. Here are some hall of fame insults heard by the people of, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was1975, How To Stop Stressing Over YourRelationships, 11 Gaslighting Phrases Used by Narcissists And Powerful Responses To Shut ThemDown, The Best Dating Sites and Apps: Complete List of the Top Online DatingPlatforms, 50+ Classic Rock Trivia Questions ForMusicians. In life you will notice that a lot of people will talk a lot of crap to you. Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. Of course, its important to be strategic about when you use your comebacks. @2020 - All Right Reserved. When someone insults you, it can be difficult to come up with a sharp comeback on the spot. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. 200. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Comebacks for When Your Depression Says 'You Suck,' a white woman with blonde hair drawn in pop art style. While some comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit to come up with an effective response on the spot. I dont need anyones permission to post my opinion. Savage comebacks are witty, cutting responses that can leave your tormentor speechless. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. Hilarious Comebacks You'll Wish You Knew Before - Reader's Erin Kayata joined Readers Digest as an assistant staff writer in March 2019, coming from the Stamford Advocate where she covered education. In the mid-1980s, when I first started going out with Jonathan Gold, who would become my husband and this papers restaurant critic until his 2018 death, we often found ourselves in a tiki bar that had been open for decades, a reminder of a time when, as Jonathan wrote in his book Counter Intelligence: Where to Eat in the Real Los Angeles, every Los Angeles neighborhood had at least one tiki bar, built to slake the tropical thirsts of men [and women] who had served in the far-Pacific theaters of World War II. 37. Get your answers by asking now. Inflate your ego to overcompensate for it being so fragile? If the topic is relevant to something that they are interested in, or if it's important enough that they should care about it, tell them how. Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. ' shares another Buzzfeed contributor. Im sorry, I didnt realize you were an expert on the subject. I'll keep trying though. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive met. There is no definition as such for that but he is a very shrewd leader. Two weeks before todays Film Independent Spirit Awards, where Theo Rossi will learn whether he won the supporting performance prize for his role as Aubrey Plazas partner in crime and love in Emily the Criminal, the former Sons of Anarchy actor was eating hummus and pita around town with L.A. Times Food columnist Jenn Harris for her series The Crawl. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. What does "twin" mean in the phrase "the twin shocks of Vietnam and Watergate"? He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. The dream of theme restaurants and L.A.s tiki bar era. "I too asked you first from last!!" :D I am just writing some stuff because stupid Quora wants more explanation on this. 196.Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents. ", Sent this to my gf without reading it Im so fucked rn. Thanks for the compliment. If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine." Remember when I asked for your opinion? Some cultures talk about money and how much they earn as a matter of national pride. 14. I only take you everywhere I go just so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. For example, if they call you stupid, you could say I may be stupid, but at least Im not ugly., If they say youre fat, you could reply Id rather be fat than ugly.. I think you owe it an apology. Now that weve got a few zingers down, dont forget how to bring the energy back up: try these 50 cheesy pickup lines guaranteed to get a laugh on for size. Regardless of their form, mean comebacks are a great way to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place. Didnt ask. And Im here to tell you now it aint funny, its just predictable. Whatever you do, dont let an insult get the best of you. First, theyll likely ask why youre wondering. If you gave him an enema, you could bury whats left of him in a matchbox. Your trust is our top concern, so businesses can't pay to alter or remove their reviews. RITA W. IN NORTH CAROLINA, DEAR ABBY: Something I heard in a TV commercial would be a perfect response to what Ageless considers a rude question: Age is just a number. I don't know. H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. She would say, Can you keep a secret? When the person would reply with Yes, I can, she would then say, So can I! That was usually the end of the conversation. After all, theres nothing worse than trying to deliver a killer insult only to have it fall flat. You can sign in to vote the answer. 90 Good Comebacks, Roasts & One-Liners For When You Need A Sick Burn, These 6 Personality Types Always Need To Have The Last Word And Win Every Argument, 30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat, 25 Of The Best Comebacks & One-Liners From The Office, 75 Best Sassy Savage Quotes For When You're In A Mood, 27 Passive-Aggressive Quotes That Are Actually Pretty Inspiring, 100 Happy Valentine's Day Quotes For Your Very Best Friends, 129 Heart Melting Valentine's Day Quotes For Lovers Everywhere, 50 Anti-Valentine's Quotes Anyone Who Hates Valentine's Day Can Relate To, 111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy, William Shakespeare, "All's Well That Ends Well", 10 Ways Universe Warns You When Your Life Is About To Change, 100 Best Love Quotes That'll Make Anyone Believe In Love, 100 Deep Questions To Get To Know Yourself Much Better. or ask "Is there a law that says asking first gives you some bargaining rights? The (fill in the blank) called. You dont need a particularly smart comeback for this one since its. Im not just worried about us. If youre going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Gr8AuntCarolyn. Is your urge to reply didnt ask to things that never concerned you an egotistical thing? They were refusing to eat saba mackerel after cost-cutting measures forced their minders to stop buying pricier horse mackerel. Well, I experience this almost everyday, caused by my younger brother. And I know what you're going to say right after I finish sending this hammer of logic straight to your senses, you miserable little fucktwat, you're going to say "who tf asked?" ? You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. 20 Something 20 Somethings 30 Somethings after dark best comebacks Burns Comebacks Comedy digs Funny genius responses Hilarious how to respond humiliate Humor Insults Jokes laugh on demand laugh out loud lol Love and Relationships Offensive One-Liners Relationships Relationships & Dating roast STFU what to say Zingers The point being of course that whatever they have asked is none of their business. I love your outfit. 38. I do this for some practical reasons. I would expect that to get better in time. "No, i'm not asking, i'm just telling". Pretty dumb in the first place. 23. comebacks: No, but you to much of a dumb fuck to know so i have to tell you comeback: We have to ask for opinions now? There is the attention you were looking for. Today. I took my wife for breakfast this morning to a restaurant close by. The waitress brought us to our booth. As I went to sit down, I looked at Then why are you all up in mygrill? This is from The Clique, a popular teen series by author Lisi Harrison. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Apparently, they have a vacancy in clownery they think youd be suited for. Knocks em dead every time. You might even have some fun in the process. You could be nice and simply say, "I don't have a strong view one way or the other." Some of these questions arent necessarily awful, they just get a little tiring when youre asked it for the millionth time. ', Who could forget about the scene in Legally Blondewhen Elle Woods loser ex-boyfriend condescendingly asks, You got into Harvard Law? to which Elle responds, What, like its hard?. Wait, you as in the person, or u as in the alphabet? That guy couldnt score in a brothel. Prior to this, she was part of a two-year Hearst fellowship program where she covered crime and education in suburban Connecticut. You wanna sex-related joke? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If you were a spice, youd be flour. I witnessed first hand as thousands of people in the country were laid off in just over a year - 10 years ago Whats a good comeback for if someone says, "Did I ask youuu?"? It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" With any luck, theyll think twice before trying to mess with you again. If twice makes a 197.Can you die of constipation? Ill have to remember that the next time Im looking for a stupid opinion. But if that isnt possible, then it can help to have a few intelligent and calm responses pre-prepared. Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? You might enjoy: 27+ of the Best Comebacks for Shut Up.
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